like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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