i don't like sucking hair
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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