Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think my mom watched the whole time
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
