how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
