it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
These tits shall not be calmed
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