Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
