When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
