Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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