I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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