He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How naked do you want me to be?
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