I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
