'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
