okay pat passed out under dana's car
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
