why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We are all done wearing pants today
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
