He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
