I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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