idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
