i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
