At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
