I don't think brook has ever known best
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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