I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
