I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
