I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We left an ass print on the piano.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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