she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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