you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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