At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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