I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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