how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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