Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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