I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
soo... how was my night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
