we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
