Already got asked if we're dating
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
