forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
