Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
