I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i will never coherently bang her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
