We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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