We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
