so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
