About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
