do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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