Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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