You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
