Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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