Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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