I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
