trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Damn victory sex feels great
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
