he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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