North Korea, Best Korea!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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