I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
