I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
