He kissed a someone with a penis
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
