Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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