Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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