I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and she was petting her beer can
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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