I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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